Rabbi Yisroel's Blog

A few days ago, a Chabad Rabbi came back from the grave! 

Rabbi Goldshmid, from Netanya, Israel, was at a funeral when he accidently fell into the open grave!  Thank G-d he only suffered some minor injuries. As he reflected on the bizarre incident, he felt it would be a good opportunity to highlight the importance of a Jewish burial, especially as it is a theme in this week's Torah portion. 
 
The Parsha begins with the scene of Jacob on his deathbed, summoning his son Joseph. Jacob had an important matter to discuss: his burial arrangement. 

Joseph agreed, but more was needed. He was asked to take an oath, pledging that he would spare no effort to ensure that his father received the burial he desired in Israel. 

The Parsha ends with a conversation between Joseph and his brothers. This time, it was Joseph who was about to die, and he, too, was concerned about his burial arrangement. 

For thousands of years, Jewish parents have passed on this beautiful tradition of Jewish burial.

Sadly, today many people choose to get cremated or to cremate their loved ones. Having discussed this topic with many who considered cremation, I know that often it is only because of a lack of awareness of the beauty and importance of this after-life ritual. 

If you are considering cremation for yourself or your loved ones, I beg you to at the very least, research this subject. Learn about the history, meaning, and importance of Jewish burial.  If finances are a concern, there are community organizations that are willing to assist.

I was recently talking with someone on the Chevra Kaddisha about the first time they participated in a "Tahara," the traditional preparation of a body before burial. She was nervous and wasn't sure what to expect. But when she entered the preparation room, she commented how she sensed... holiness. 

Holiness was the last thing she'd expect to feel coming face to face with death. Where did the feeling of holiness come from? 

The answer is two-fold. 

First, Judaism pays tremendous respect to the body because of all the Mitzvot it did during its lifetime. It just makes sense. Our bodies are the tools we use to positively impact the world around us; that makes them precious and deserving of utmost respect.   Like a Torah scroll that is lovingly buried when no longer fit to be used in Shul, a body, even after the soul has departed, remains sacred and is lovingly buried. 

Second, death is not the end. While the body finishes its part, the soul continues its journey, returning to its divine source in heaven. And while doing so, it's still connected to its former "partner," the body. This connection of parts of the soul to the body is one reason we continue to visit the resting place of our loved ones and righteous individuals.

Finally, letting the body rest in the grave and allowing nature to take its course is also a source of comfort to the soul. 

The intent of this email is not to G-d forbid, judge those whose loved ones made a different choice in the past.  Rather to focus on the future and encourage you to both become educated about the issue and speak to others about the importance of a Jewish burial.  Recent studies suggest close to 50% of Jews are not choosing a Jewish burial.   It's a topic that can no longer be ignored.

It isn't the easiest subject to bring up, but it it's a tremendous Mitzvah and something that has always been important for  Jews of all backgrounds, regardless of one's level of Jewish observance. 

May all of us enjoy a long, healthy life!

A few days ago, a Chabad Rabbi came back from the grave! 

Rabbi Goldshmid, from Netanya, Israel, was at a funeral when he accidently fell into the open grave!  Thank G-d he only suffered some minor injuries. As he reflected on the bizarre incident, he felt it would be a good opportunity to highlight the importance of a Jewish burial, especially as it is a theme in this week's Torah portion. 
 
The Parsha begins with the scene of Jacob on his deathbed, summoning his son Joseph. Jacob had an important matter to discuss: his burial arrangement. 

Joseph agreed, but more was needed. He was asked to take an oath, pledging that he would spare no effort to ensure that his father received the burial he desired in Israel. 

The Parsha ends with a conversation between Joseph and his brothers. This time, it was Joseph who was about to die, and he, too, was concerned about his burial arrangement. 

For thousands of years, Jewish parents have passed on this beautiful tradition of Jewish burial.

Sadly, today many people choose to get cremated or to cremate their loved ones. Having discussed this topic with many who considered cremation, I know that often it is only because of a lack of awareness of the beauty and importance of this after-life ritual. 

If you are considering cremation for yourself or your loved ones, I beg you to at the very least, research this subject. Learn about the history, meaning, and importance of Jewish burial.  If finances are a concern, there are community organizations that are willing to assist.

I was recently talking with someone on the Chevra Kaddisha about the first time they participated in a "Tahara," the traditional preparation of a body before burial. She was nervous and wasn't sure what to expect. But when she entered the preparation room, she commented how she sensed... holiness. 

Holiness was the last thing she'd expect to feel coming face to face with death. Where did the feeling of holiness come from? 

The answer is two-fold. 

First, Judaism pays tremendous respect to the body because of all the Mitzvot it did during its lifetime. It just makes sense. Our bodies are the tools we use to positively impact the world around us; that makes them precious and deserving of utmost respect.   Like a Torah scroll that is lovingly buried when no longer fit to be used in Shul, a body, even after the soul has departed, remains sacred and is lovingly buried. 

Second, death is not the end. While the body finishes its part, the soul continues its journey, returning to its divine source in heaven. And while doing so, it's still connected to its former "partner," the body. This connection of parts of the soul to the body is one reason we continue to visit the resting place of our loved ones and righteous individuals.

Finally, letting the body rest in the grave and allowing nature to take its course is also a source of comfort to the soul. 

The intent of this email is not to G-d forbid, judge those whose loved ones made a different choice in the past.  Rather to focus on the future and encourage you to both become educated about the issue and speak to others about the importance of a Jewish burial.  Recent studies suggest close to 50% of Jews are not choosing a Jewish burial.   It's a topic that can no longer be ignored.

It isn't the easiest subject to bring up, but it it's a tremendous Mitzvah and something that has always been important for  Jews of all backgrounds, regardless of one's level of Jewish observance. 

May all of us enjoy a long, healthy life!

It was a week before Chanukah and we were in the midst of our holiday preparations. A large number of our regular volunteers were out of town and I was concerned we may not have enough hands to help at the Chanukah Wonderland.

The answer came from an unexpected place.

I received a phone call from a non-Jewish teen at a local public High School. She leads a school club that sends volunteers to various organizations and events around town. She was calling to see if we might appreciate a group of teens helping out at the event.  I couldn't believe it!

And boy did they come! About 15 of these wonderful teens were an enormous help and stayed to clean until the very end.  Our own volunteers very much enjoyed working with them and sharing little bits about Judaism and Chanukah.

Two days later it was this experience that I wanted to share with the media during an interview following the various antisemitic incidents around Chanukah.  The questions were being asked in such a way to encourage talk about hate and evil...though I kept trying to steer the conversation towards love and respect! Why talk about one person doing an act of destruction when you could talk about a large group of kids making a difference?  Why only report hate of someone different, and not the sweet Indian teens who found themselves helping Jewish kids decorate donuts and build Menorahs?

I felt this throughout the holiday!  Is it not a blessing to live in a city where there are large Chanukah events every night of the week?   Where the town requests help purchasing a Menorah? When the newest shopping development (Fenton) reached out to me to see how they could this recognize Chanukah?  To have Mayors (in plural) reach out to us about how much they care about our community?

This is the Cary, Apex, Morrisville, etc that I live in.

To be clear, the other reality sadly exists. And the authorities have to do their job and treat any such acts seriously. This is the world of law enforcement. But sometimes I wish (like when talking to the media!) that the world of kindness got portrayed at least as much (if not more!) as this world of negativity.

As we begin a new secular year, let's be a little more aware of the world we live in and try to make it a more positive one.  That includes surrounding ourselves with happier people, learning Torah (which uplifts our mind),  getting swept up in Mitzvot, and staying away from consuming too much media!

Consider this:

The "Word of the Year" was recently announced.  This year's selection?

From Webster: ‘Goblin mode’ – a slang term, often used in the expressions ‘in goblin mode’ or ‘to go goblin mode’ – is ‘a type of behaviour which is unapologetically self-indulgent, lazy, slovenly, or greedy, 

From Oxford: Gaslighting: Behavior that's mind manipulating, grossly misleading, downright deceitful.

My goodness!  I assume there is good reason those words were chosen but we need not live in that world.  Let's learn from Joseph, the first Jew to teach us the art of a positive perspective and even reframing negative experiences as something positive. (More on that in this excellent essay by Rabbi Sacks)

I'll conclude with a favorite Chassidic anecdote of mine:

The story is told of two men who traveled from Odessa to Lubavitch to see their Rebbe. The Rebbe asked each of them respectively how Jewish Life was in Odessa? The first responded that things are quite good BH! There are daily sessions in Torah, a regular Minyan that is well attended, and that the people are charitable. The Rebbe gave him a 10 ruble note as participation in the community's activities. 

The second painted a bleaker picture. "The truth is people are so engrossed in their work they don't study or pray properly.  The community is not as caring for each other as they should be. The Rebbe handed the man a one ruble.

He then complained: I said the truth! Why should I receive less than my friend who painted a rosier picture?

To which the Rebbe said: "I didn't really need to ask either of you about the spiritual situation in Odessa. I have other sources to find that out. What I wanted to learn from your response is which Odessa you live in.

L'chaim to living in a beautiful, love-filled, and Mitzvah-full world in 2023.

Yesterday, I found myself in a vehicle for some 9 hours with 4 boys and some 500 donuts.

I made the quick trip to NJ to bring back my son from school, only this time along with a few of his classmates who will be spending part of Chanukah with our family and community. Of course,  once I was going I used the opportunity to load up on holiday supplies for our upcoming programs  (and help shlep back some items for other communities who heard I was making the trip...) 

We had plenty of time for chatting in the car and I quickly found myself immersed in the sweet and refreshingly simple world of 12 year-old Yeshiva boys, Baruch Hashem.   They were singing camp songs, chatting about friends,and most of all, planning the coming days of Chanukah.  They asked me about senior facilities they could visit over the holiday and if I had any dreidel costumes they could wear at the mall to attract attention and hopefully distribute Menorahs to Jewish travelers who might need holiday supplies.

Somehow the conversation turned to some of the recent antisemitic comments and incidents in the news and I heard one of the boys say (while munching on a donut) , "Oh yeah, I did hear something about some famous person saying something nasty about Jews.  He was crazy.  Oh well.. all the more reason for us to go out and show people what a Jew is..."

That was it.

I didn't say anything at the time but my mind was racing. There was something so refreshing...so healthy... about hearing these words from a 12 year old.   There was no over-talking the issue.  No playing defense.  No giving it undue attention. No feeling like a victim.   

Don't get me wrong. Words matter. They can incite violence, G-d forbid. It is sickening to think about the  millions of impressionable minds who digest repugnant lies coming from someone with influence. There is absolutely a need for Jewish leaders to call out  hate and ensure that the world understands it is evil and never ends with just the Jews. 

BUT...

I don't want this to become overemphasized, especially in front of our youth.  

I want Jews to know that there are countless more people out there that support and respect Jews.  Let's not give a bigger platform to those who make a lot of ugly noise.   

I often see a lot of passion in the community after an anti-Semitism incident, G-d forbid.  That passion is coming from a holy and good place. But here's a challenge - Let's always find that same  passion for a Mitzvah or Torah Study. After all, our Judaism should  be defined by who we are and our unique mission in the world -- not what others may think about us.  That also happens to be the most effective way to fight  anti-semitism --  promoting that which the antisemite wants to crush: Jewish vitality.

Antisemitism is a reality that sadly has to be dealt with. I applaud those working hard to make sure it doesn't get ignored or swept under the rug, G-d forbid.  But for most of us, let's focus more on adding light.  The most pressing issue facing Judaism today is the critical importance of Jewish education and embracing our unique identity and Torah-based values.  In fact, one meaning of the name Chanukah itself is "education", coming form the Hebrew Word Chinuch. 

Let's take something out of the playbook of the 12 year-old student.  

More offense. More light. More Jewish Pride. 

--

This approach of proud and confident Jewish Living is one reason we work tirelessly each year to create moments of joy and pride each Chanukah.

I have been questioned why we invest so many resources into our Chanukah Programming? As someone once asked, "Isn’t Chanukah only a minor Jewish Holiday?"

The answer is quite simple. It is true that Chanukah is not a holiday on the level of Passover or Yom Kippur. But the light of the Menorah, especially when kindled in a public setting, teaches our youth (and all of us) an integral message of being a Jew in the 21st century:

One should never be ashamed, nor afraid, of being a Jew or living Jewishly in a public manner.

It is a privilege to be a Jew, an ambassador of light in the world.  It's our job to let that light shine.

Sometimes it is the most regular of experiences give you a "Aha" moment. One such example I shared with a class this past Wednesday night.  (The subject matter in this particular class was the spiritual mood swings that happen to almost everyone. One day one's faith can feel very strong and the next day all sorts of doubts creep in...)  

I was on a flight when it was particularly nasty outside.  We were flying up through dark storm clouds, but then then suddenly...a beautiful sky emerged.

Is that not a metaphor in life? We all have  days when everything feels gray. Little things frustrate us. People annoy us.  And we just don’t feel inspired to do good.

And it’s here that JUDAISM offers a powerful insight.

Don’t take the negativity too seriously.  Don’t beat yourself up for feeling this way.  These voices of doubt are not the real you. You just happen to be in some dark clouds.  G-d created a world where forces of negativity exist. They are here to oppose good. It’s not a “flaw” in you – it’s part of feeling human.

This self-awareness is very helpful.  It is what allows us to not define ourselves based on these attitudes.  Of course, we can't just sit the dark clouds. It's incumbent upon each of us to do whatever we can to "increase altitude” and live from a more elevated place.

There are of many ways to do invite more light in your life. Surround yourself with happy people.  Fill up on gratitude. And finally, study and reflect on those things that can introduce more light in your life. 

As a Jew I feel so blessed to have access to the countless treasures of light in the Torah. In fact, the word TORAH comes from the word “OR” meaning light. 

Within Torah itself, CHASSIDUT, the inner dimension of Torah, is a powerful form of that light.  Some 300 years ago, at a time the Jewish People were going through a particularly dark period, the Baal Shem Tov taught the Jewish People how to live with more light - joy, spirituality, clarity, and purpose. Like my flight, these teachings provide "an elevated way to see life", beyond the darkness of mundane living.   These mystical teachings were always part of Torah but had, up until that point, been hidden and only available to select individuals.  

It was two generations later that the founder of Chabad developed these ideas further, explaining them in a logical and systematic fashion in the book called THE TANYA.

This upcoming Monday night marks the  19th day of Kislev, a day known as the "Rosh Hashana of Chasidism," Throughout the world it is a date dedicated to light, personal growth and elevated living and when we traditionally restart learning the book Tanya. In honor of the 19^th of Kislev, and as a personal resolution for my birthday later this month, I would like to launch a “TANYA CLUB.”   One morning a week (on zoom), we will discuss a theme from that week’s TANYA STUDY and search for ways these teachings can introduce more light in our life focusing on one or two practical exercises to help us in our daily lives and in our relationships.

If you are interested in learning more about this TANYA CLUB please please let me know your preference of either Wed or Thursday morning. We'll keep the discussion focused and no more than 20-25 minutes.

Yesterday, a tire fell off our car as we were driving. It all happened so suddenly I had no idea what the problem was -- only that something was very wrong with the car.  Only after I  managed to BH quickly get to the side of the road did I notice the missing tire.  I quickly realized how fortunate I was that this happened just seconds after I had exited the highway. Needless to say, it made for a powerful Thanksgiving moment.

Families traditionally spend meaningful time together this weekend  and gratitude is often at the center of these conversations.

But what can we do to make that "I am thankful for...." exercise a little more inspiring?   How can it motivate us with intense feelings and a call to action, instead of that "ok, now what?"

A good friend once shared with me how there are really two types of thankfulness.

• One type of saying "I am thankful that I have ___" means "I am so lucky that I have ___."
• The other type of "I am thankful" is that "I am so humbled that __ has given me ____." 

What's the difference? The answer is 2 words: Humility and Purpose.

When you feel lucky to have blessings in your life, it doesn't necessarily make you humble. Sure, you feel fortunate, but "lucky" means it happened by chance and there is no particular meaning to the blessing. Therefore, while it's always a good thing to appreciate one's blessings,  the impact of such gratitude will be limited and may not express itself in a tangible manner.

A deeper sense of being thankful means realizing this blessing came from G-d and that it is intentional. When you think into it some more, you realize you are not more deserving than others (if one can be truly honest). Yet, G-d invested in you to give you these blessings! G-d has faith in you even if you can't understand why. That lends to a sense of humility, with a follow up of "I must do something good with my blessings to live up to that faith in me!" 

Back to my scare incident on the road: I was raised with a custom that whenever we feel particularly blessed/fortunate we should immediately stop what we're doing and give some tzedaka. In Judaism, it isn't enough to feel thankful to G-d, you have to express your thanks through acts of prayer and tzedaka. 

Incredibly, we find this idea in the Parsha!

At the close of this week's Torah portion, Jacob is forced to leave his home.  He is literally penniless and all alone on the way to a foreign country.  He later returns to Israel a very different man - surrounded by a large family and with a tremendous amount of wealth. He states: 

I have become small from all the kindnesses and from all the truth that You (G-d) have rendered Your servant, for with my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two (large) camps. 

Rabbi Schneur Zalman, the founder of Chabad, says that these words "feeling small" is an example of what gratitude should lead to: a real sense of humility and commitment to do good with those blessings. And indeed, each time Jacob experienced G-d’s assistance, he shows his recognition by building an altar and offering a sacrifice.

So here's a Thanksgiving resolution (is that a thing?): Don't just be thankful for what you have - think about who you are thankful to and why you owe them thanks.

Reflect on your limits and feel grateful and humbled that G-d/your parents/friends/teachers have provided you with so much. Then, don't suffice with feeling thankful - tell them thank you and pass on those blessings to others through acts of tzedaka.

And consider starting your day with the Modeh Ani meditation. It will frame your waking hours with a powerful sense of gratitude and humility.  For those who do it already, try doing it just a little bit slower with more Kavana, or adding additional blessings to your mornings prayers. 

To read an article with deeper meaning behind many of the morning blessings- click here. 

This past Monday, Chana and I met with a young Jewish woman.   After chatting for about 30 minutes, Chana mentioned that she looked familiar.  They quickly discovered that back in 2006, Chana was a Chabad intern in her hometown in California, teaching in the same Hebrew School she attended!  We now hope to continue that learning, virtually, some 15 years later.

This past Tuesday, I bumped into a young man at a wedding and we got to chatting.   He's a student at Virginia Tech and he was excited to share how he just returned from an inspiring Shabbaton weekend in Brooklyn with his Rabbi.  It turns out his Rabbi at Virginia Tech is a dear friend of mine,  a study partner when I was in Melbourne Australia.   

I received a text from a Rabbi I hardly know. He sent me a photo of a dear local friend, who had been hospitalized while traveling. The Rabbi was there at my friend's bedside; visiting, laying Tefillin, providing words of support. 

Such scenes could have taken place in Kinshasa, Puerto Rico or Capetown. Or Cary. 

Because we don't believe in strangers. We believe in family.

Who is 'we?'

'We' is the Rebbe's army of G-dliness and goodness. 

Consider the reality that observant people generally gravitate to larger Jewish communities. It’s the natural way to support an observant lifestyle, and to perpetuate that observance within one’s family. Yet, beginning in 1950, the Rebbe inspired Chabad couples to reach beyond their own religious comfort to settle in communities which need their spiritual influence. The Rebbe was going against the grain, but – one couple at a time –Chassidic men and women committed their lives to bettering the world, by moving to places where they could make a difference.

In the early years, there was a trickle of  'lamplighters' (called Shluchim - literally 'emissaries') moving out to bring warmth and illumination to a world in need. But over time, that trickle became a stream, and then a steady flow of couples setting out across the globe to make this a better world.  Today, the type of stories I shared above the norm.  

This weekend is the international convention of Chabad Rabbis (the women convene in February) in Brooklyn.  - The main event Sunday Night is the largest Jewish event in the USA. Tune in live at 4:30 at this link.  

In honor of the occasion, allow me to share some facts about Chabad you may not have know:

• This past year, 120 new Chabads were established. That is on average, one every three days.  And this is at a time when sadly, many other Jewish organizations are closing or merging.
• Today,  there are 5,646 emissary couples in all 50 states and over 100 countries around the world. Aside from being your local Jewish resource, they are the people embracing your child on campus, providing schnitzel to your niece backpacking in Cambodia, and providing you with a Passover Seder as you vacation in New Zealand.
• According to the Pew Research Center’s Jewish Americans 2020 study, two-in-five Jewish adults (38%, or 2.2 million people) have engaged with Chabad.
• More importantly, the younger the segment, the more connected they are with Chabad.  More Jews age 35 and younger are involved with Chabad than any other Jewish group.   

Closer to home, Chana and I are deeply honored to witness this type of growth in Western Wake County.   

From a Hebrew School that began with 4 kids in our garage to a school bustling with 80 kids BH...

From a group that met in a living room for classes & services...to a growing community in the midst of a building campaign for a multi-million dollar Jewish Center.

But here's the key: No matter the growth, the secret sauce remains the same.  Far more important than numbers and buildings is a commitment to unconditional love for the individual.  That every Jew should feel they have a place to go for nourishment -  whether physical or spiritual, emotional or intellectual. 

In a world that seems more fractured every day, Chabad Shluchim provide love and spiritual sanity. Without reservation.

5000 purveyors of goodness, coming together to recharge their batteries and recommit to their mission of spreading light.

It’s good for the world.

And it’s good for you.

Ten days ago, my son Mendel was feeling down. (Thank G-d for small matters!)  The Houston Astros lost two of the first 3 games in the World Series.  The losses were particularly bad and panic quickly spread to many fans. The comments were along the lines of

There is no way they are coming back from this...       

Time to fire the manager...                                             

They've given up. It's Over.

I quickly noticed, however, that players themself never sound defeated and remain very optimistic even after suffering a bad loss. Their response is more like:

 We all know we can win this series... 

We've been here before. We're not worried...

What happened yesterday has absolutely no connection to what happens today....

 Apparently this is common. It got me wondering: Why is it that many fans quickly go into "panic mode" and give up on their team after a bad play or game while players feel very differently?    

 The obvious answer is that athletes are the ones playing in the game themself. They aren't just spectators.  When you are actually in the driver's seat, it's that much easier to trust your abilities.  Furthermore,  athletes are professionals.  They know the importance of positive thinking. They are trained to be resilient and quickly move on from a bad day.

 Indeed, the Astros went on to win the Championship,  winning each of the next 3 games in convincing fashion including a no-hitter.  And we once again have a very happy Mendel! (In honor of the occasion, here is a picture with him and the Jewish ballplayer on the team.)

 But it got me thinking.  I don't think we talk enough about the importance of SPIRITUAL RESILIENCY.

 We all have our bad days. We make mistakes.  An important question to ask ourselves is whether we act like the fan or the professional? Do our "bad days" shlep us down and make us think less of ourselves? Or can we quickly turn the page and realize yesterday's loss has nothing to do with today.   Each day offers countless redemption opportunities for Mitzvot.

 Contemplete this teaching from the Baal Shem Tov:

 A Sin is like a snakebite. Yes,  the bite hurts. But it isn't the bite itself that kills. The real damage comes from the  venom.  The venom is the toxicity that spreads when we tell ourselves "I'm not good enough" or "there's no point in trying..."

 This same principle applies for the times we try to do a Mitzvah, but, for whatever the reason, fall short.   How do we respond?

 Are we the fan that despairs and tells themself it's a lost cause? Or are we the  professional who says, "I may not have succeeded today but but this doesn't change me or my values. I can't wait until my next opportunity."

 An wonderful example appears in this week's Torah portion. When Avraham hears that the evil city of Sodom was to be destroyed he famously argued with G-d, pleading and negotiating that Hashem spare the city on behalf of the righteous that live there. 

 Sadly, his request was turned down. There was no holy group of people in Sodom. The decree was final. 

 And yet, the very verse tells us something extraordinary. Right after failing in his mission, " Avraham  returned to the place where he had stood before the Lord."

One may have expected Avraham to change after this experience. Would he still believe in G-d's love and goodness? Would he have the strength to pass his own tests after experiencing this "failure"?

 The answer was a resounding YES! His faith wasn't broken.  His outlook in life didn't change.  Sure, he  was let down.  But he picked up and went back to doing the same hospitality and teaching.

 L'chaim to a life of spiritual resiliency!

 When you think about being 75 years old, what comes to mind?

Presumably, something along the lines of retiring, slowing down, and focusing on better self care. You may look back at your career and accomplishments, hopefully feel satisfied, and plan to live life peacefully. You certainly are not interested in making any big changes in your life. If you were asked to take on a new project which would require a lot of time, effort and sacrifice, you might feel flattered but then pass on the offer to someone younger. 

Not so with Abraham our patriarch. And we can all take a lesson from him, no matter our age.

From a very young age, Abraham was a passionate activist. He was courageous enough to ask big questions and seek hard truths. He turned his back on the false beliefs of his family and community, which came at a great cost. Together with his wife Sarah, they built a new kind of community which was founded upon faith, love and morality.

As a 75 year old man, he had every right to be proud of his accomplishments, pat himself on the back, and plan to retire. 

In fact, that may have been his plans. 

Suddenly, a Heavenly voice summoned him. "Abraham, get up and go. It's time to achieve something even greater."

Go where? Do what? And don't you know that I'm a 75 year old man? I'm comfortable and set in my ways. I've been through enough turbulence in my life. 

These could have been Abraham's questions, and we wouldn't judge him for such reactions. 

But instead, Abraham got up and followed the calling. Together with Sarah (who was also eligible for medicaid and social security benefits) they were ready for something new.

Of course, we all know the rest of the story. Abraham and Sarah founded the first monotheistic community, established the first Jewish presence in Israel, and are considered the progenitors of the major religions of today. 

No matter your age, it's easier to get set in your ways, and harder to be flexible and open to change. We often turn to familiarity for comfort and protection. We prefer things to feel predictable. 

But the Torah is teaching us something very profound here. It makes no mention of any part of Abraham's illustrious life prior to turning 75. Abraham is first introduced to us as a 75 year old man who is embarking on a major change in his life.   (Indeed, Chana and I have been so inspired by individuals in our own community growing in their faith and Mitzvot at a much later point in their life.)

Perhaps that is one thing being a Jew - a person of faith - means. It means to live a life of service, to be ready to hear and follow your calling, and to appreciate that every moment of your existence on this planet is necessary and meaningful.   

And if it means being flexible and open to change, so be it. (My thanks to Rabbi Eli Wolf for sharing this insight)

This post is written in honor of my dear parents who both recently celebrated this milestone "Abraham" birthday!  In addition to all their other Mitzvot and responsibilities…when they heard about a "new calling" they lovingly offered to have our daughter spend the year living with them while attending 8^th grade at the Torah Day School in Houston.  (There's now a teenager in their house again!)

We are deeply appreciative of the love, care, and timeless values they (and Chana’s parents in Morristown who have Mendel staying with them) give our children.  May Hashem bless them with good health and the ability and strength to continue growing in Mitzvot surrounded by much joy and peace of mind.

"But Rabbi, I have many questions..."

"I hate to say it but from time to time I get doubts..."

"Is it OK if some days I have a hard time believing..."

There is an old Yiddish proverb, Fun a kasha shtarbt men nit--"Nobody ever died of a question." It's not the end of the world if you didn't get an answer to all your questions. We can live with unanswered questions. The main thing is not to allow ourselves to become paralyzed by our doubts. We can still do what has to be done, despite our doubts.

That's why Noah always appealed to me. When you read the Torah and its commentaries, he is no “Superhero.” He has his flaws.

Rashi describes Noah as a man of "small faith" who had doubts whether the flood would actually happen. In fact, according to the great commentator's understanding, he didn't enter the Ark until the rains actually started and the floodwaters pushed him in. And certainly, he fell short in terms of the ability to influence others in his generations…That explains why many people look down on Noah, especially when they compare him to other Biblical heroes like Abraham or Moses. 

And yet...this is precisely what makes Noah my kind of hero. He's real. He's human. 

Look what this simple fellow achieved! In a society dripping with greed and temptation, Noach held strongly to his morals, walked with G-d, and swam against the tide, saving the planet from destruction. Civilization survived not because of a towering, titanic figure; but because of a simple man who had the courage to live morally when everyone around him behaved despicably.  He may have had his doubts...but he got the job done!

So Noah, the reluctant hero, reminds us that you don't have to be fearless to get involved. You don't have to be a tzaddik to do a mitzvah. You don't have to be holy to keep kosher, and you don't have to be "perfect in your faith" to come out to a Torah class.

Chana went to NJ today for a milestone birthday of her father BH! Her siblings helped organize a special weekend complete with a mini concert, meaningful gifts, and relatives coming in from out of town.  But making it even more special? There's just one person who was unaware of the planned event – my father-in-law.

I can't wait to hear the recap of the celebration, especially his reaction to the surprise. And it got me thinking about the nature of a surprise.

There’s something about a surprise that turns the ordinary into something remarkable. How interesting is it that simply because something is unexpected and novel, the experience becomes memorable.

Humor of course works the same way.   When does a person laugh? What makes us smile? Laughter is created from the surprise. Comedy is expecting one answer and getting the opposite answer. The art of humor is the ability to create an expectation and then move from it to another place.

Here's the KABBALA behind the surprise:

But first a question: Why does a Jewish day start at night? The answer is right there in this week's Torah Portion.  In each of the days of creation, we find that G-d began creating at  night, and at the end of the afternoon Hashem closed the day with the announcement: "And it was evening, and it was morning, one day, etc.”

Of course that begs the question -- Who starts working at night? Doesn't a hard worker show up at sunrise? Why does G-d, and thus the Jewish day, start from the evening before?

The mystics give a fascinating answer. Life is all about creating light from darkness.

Life is not a postcard. Life is a startup venture to create a  new  never-before-seen  innovative  product. This world is where a person gets the opportunity to be G-d’s partner in the creation of the world! To create something different, surprising, unpredictable, unprecedented, unique that no one did or could have anticipated in advance.

This is one way we humans fulfill the purpose of creation. Hashem had everything  above, but one thing he didn't have was surprise and innovation. In creating a world Hashem says 'I am looking not for the perfect person, but for those who voluntarily and unpredictably chooses to write a better version of themselves. That's one reason why the world  started  dark  and gradually became  light !"

On Yom Kippur someone told me "Rabbi, just a few years ago never would I have imagined that I would be the type of person to put on Tefilin or be excited about donating to a Jewish cause?"

My response? That makes it the more meaningful.

This unexpected surprise is magical. This is divine.

This, for the Creator, is a greater innovation than designing a rocket ship to  outer  space.

This is a rocket ship to  inner  space!

“ And it was evening, and  (through you Jew)  it was morning —that is what I, G-d, call  a day !”

I meet too many people who get anxious about, or even dread, Yom Kippur. 

I get it. Hours in Synagogue. Fasting. And a machzor full or some intense prayers.  

Which makes it easy for some to miss the JOY of the day.

Joy? On Yom Kippur? Yes, yes, and yes.

 Yom Kippur is to be viewed as a gift: An incredible opportunity G-d has given us to remove any “shmutz” that may have accumulated throughout the year and return to our pristine natural self. He only asks for us to be sincere in our regret, observe the day as articulated in Torah, and pledge to be better in the future.

What a blessing the day is…

It is therefore important for us to have that conviction that G-d has truly forgiven us and we are a new person that day after Yom Kippur.

Of course, that is easier said than done. Sometimes, shortly after this holy day, we may feel that although we are ready to change, we are still confronted by those negative urges and temptations. I want to share with you a beautiful response to this issue as taught by the Maggid of Mezritch in the form of the following metaphor:

There was a Jew named Moshe that ran a tavern in a small town in Russia. He made a decent living but soon got sick of the atmosphere of a tavern, having to see the things that came out of the mouth of the locals after they had too much to drink.

Eventually, he decided to change his tavern into a grocery store. The problem? Those used to spending the nights at Moshe's place would still show up, banging on the door, asking for a drink. He would have to yell back at them and say, “You got the wrong place – this is not a bar, this is a grocery!" It took some time, but eventually they moved elsewhere…

The Maggid concluded: This is what you have to do: Tell those thoughts that pop in our mind after Yom Kippur. “I am no longer the man I once was. You got the wrong address.” It just takes some time, but eventually they get the point and move away…

The same is true in our relationships to others.  It is a gift to have a set day on the calendar with this energy of forgiveness. 

Sure, we can apologize year-round but I find it so much easier to make that phone call before Yom Kippur.  You even have a script ready to say!  "Hi...how are you? I know we haven't spoken much recently... but I've been doing some thinking...and with Yom Kippur coming around the corner, I really wanted to connect with you and...."

 What a gift that is to let go of resentment and hurt!

A psychology professor once spoke to an auditorium filled with students about how to let go of guilt. As she spoke, she walked around on stage with a glass of water raised in the air. As she gestured at the glass, everyone expected that she’d ask the typical “glass half empty or glass half-full” question. Instead, she asked them, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”

Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple of pounds.

“From my perspective,” she replied, “the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter. It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for half an hour, its weight will make my arm ache a little. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me. The same is true of holding on to guilt.”

I sometimes stop and think how difficult life would be if there was no Yom Kippur! 

On a personal note:

As a Rabbi and Community Leader, it happens that I let people down or offend others. Sometimes people have expectations of me that I am not able to accomplish (at times, due to circumstances beyond my control)  and they are upset at me for this. In these situations there is no way for me to ask you for forgiveness because I don’t know that I have offended you. I am giving you full permission to reach out to me over the next few days, to call me or text me or email me and tell me what I have done and give me the opportunity to ask you for forgiveness.

For those who are not able to ask me for forgiveness, I hope you will forgive me in your heart.

May all be forgiven without grudges and may G-d almighty forgive us and seal us in the book of life for a year of Health, Happiness, Prosperity, and Redemption Now!!

The most important component of Rosh Hashana is the Shofar.

Actually, the mitzvah is not the blowing of the Shofar per se; rather the mitzvah is the HEARING of the sound of the Shofar. Indeed the blessing made before blowing the Shofar is ‘Lishmoa kol Shofar’ to HEAR the sound of the Shofar.

"Do you hear me?" That's a common question today.

Sometimes the answer might be "Yes I hear you,’" but we say this while carrying on with texting. Have we really heard? As we progress deeper and deeper into the era of over-communication, rather than hearing each other more, we often hear each other less. 

Rosh Hashana reminds us that first and foremost we must stop to LISTEN and HEAR.

Listen to what?

On every day of the year, from the cradle to the grave, at least twice daily every Jew says ‘HEAR, O Israel, Hashem is our G-d, Hashem is One’. Listening to and contemplating these words enables us to see beyond the confusing images that the world presents us —and live fulfilling lives according to the Divine code, the Torah. Click here for more on this topic.

On Rosh Hashana we also need to listen and hearken to the sound of the Shofar.

• The sound of the Shofar reminds us that G-d is the Master of the universe as it represents the trumpets blown at a kingly coronation. On Rosh Hashana we coronate G-d as King of the universe.
• The sound of the Shofar is also similar to the wail of a child calling out for their parent, and on Rosh Hashana we as Jews are calling out to our father in Heaven like a wayward child coming home. This also reminds us to always be attentive to the needs of others. Click here for a beautiful story illustrating this.
• The sound of the Shofar reminds us that deep down, our very own souls are crying out with an inaudible voice of intensity of the highest degree for our Father in Heaven. We need but to listen carefully and we will discover that G-d is truly to be found within us, in the deepest recesses of our hearts. To hear an inspiring encounter from someone back from a concert tour with the “Rolling Stones" click here.

But the main thing to remember is that we need to STOP AND LISTEN. One can get so caught up in the tumultuousness of life that one loses all sense of direction.

Rosh Hashana is the day we commemorate the creation of man. As the birthday of humanity, it is surely the fitting time to pause from everything else going on in our lives, turn down the volume of the mundane noise of society, and LISTEN to these above-mentioned Divine messages of timeless relevance so that we clearly know where we are going and how to get there.