Printed fromChabadofCary.org
ב"ה

Rabbi Yisroel's Blog

Good Things Take Time

Like millions of parents across the country, we dropped our children at school this week.  But this was hardly something we took for granted.

One of the challenges of living in our beautiful town is not having the type of religious Jewish schooling found in larger communities around the country. It’s essential to us that our kids receive a strong Torah education in a loving, faith-based environment.   

So over the years, we've done a little bit of everything.  We’ve done online school long before most people even heard of Zoom. :).  We've homeschooled. We currently have 2 kids living with their grandparents (thank you Bubbys and Zeidys!) out of town while attending Jewish Schools. And thankfully, over the last 2 years, we were able to organize a homeschool group with 5-7 kids in the back of Chabad for our younger children.

But this week was different. It’s hard to describe how amazing - almost miraculous - it was to see 25 children gathered together for Torah education, from all over Central NC.  Having classmates in real life and not on the screen, having a principal other than us 

One of the school parents, the Chabad Rebbetzin in Greensboro, forwarded us an email I had long forgotten about. Back in the summer 2012, shortly after we moved to town, I called together 5 families in the area to brainstorm about the idea of starting a school for (at least) our own children and we outlined the steps we'd need to take to make that a reality.  

She pointed out how, incredibly, everything we discussed at that meeting is exactly what is happening right now.   

I never could have imagined it would have taken 10 years.

And please G-d, one day, (much sooner!), we will be able to grow this school and cater to the wider community. 

Good things take time.

This Wednesday we'll be having the kickoff event for our new shul and Jewish Center.   I am excited to show the community the beautiful renderings, dedication opportunities, and the timeline going forward for this important project. 

While preparing for the event, I thought about the twists and turns it took to get to this point. How long we've been talking about this project. The hundreds (or thousands) of hours invested in other sites that almost worked out. The blessings of finding the incredible donors who made the purchase of land possible.  The lengthy re-zoning process with all of its ups and downs.  And the crazy construction prices we are now dealing with…

My mind sometimes wanders and I begin to ask  “How come we did not know X some four or five years ago?” or    “How come it took so long to get to Y?”

But then I remember: Good things take time.

The Parsha this week promises blessings to those who faithfully follow the Mitzvot.   It guarantees that those who give charity generously will see blessings of richness in their life.   It tells us that this reality is something we can tangibly "see with our eyes."

If only it was real easy to always see this!   Even putting aside the many unanswered questions about “bad things happening to good people,” (some of which we will only understand in the next world), it just doesn’t always seem like success follows those who strive hardest to do Mitzvot.

But here too we remember good things take time.    I have no doubt in my mind that a life connected to the source of goodness will lead to actual goodness to our lives.  It may not always translate in the metrics that society uses (though sometimes, such as with tzedaka, it might!) but I have absolute faith that a Torah life done right leads to the ultimate blessings of a happy and meaningful life, even if not apparent right away.  I am blessed by knowing many people who wholeheartedly affirm this in their lives.

Consider for a moment some of the most significant blessings given in the Torah:

  • Avraham and Sara were promised children.  
  • The Jews were told they would redeemed from slavery.
  • Our nation was told they were going to the Holy Land.

Each of these incredible blessings took time.

In today's "microwave generation" we have a hard time with delayed results.   From traveling across the world in a matter of hours to finding out information about anything within seconds, we have little patience for a delayed process.

But like the difference between instant soup and Bubby's Chicken Soup, that which is real and nourishing always takes time.  Planting a tree. Educating a child.  Changing hearts and minds.

This all takes time. Because the change is coming from within.

Not by Bread Alone...

Imagine there was a pill that could decrease rates of severe depression and high-risk behaviors in children or adolescents by 30 or 40%?

Could you imagine the line of parents waiting to get it?

This was the opening of one of my favorite talks last weekend at the Jewish National Retreat in Florida.  Surprisingly, this inspirational lecture came not from a Rabbi or Rebbetzin, but a psychologist and noted professor at Columbia University.

Dr Lisa Miller is an expert on the relationship spirituality plays in a child’s resilience, physical and mental health, and healing. In her powerful lecture, she brought MRI studies that show specific circuits in the brain associated with spiritual awareness.  These grow stronger and thickens when we tap into our innate, spiritual core such that a person feels loved, held and guided, and never alone.  (You can learn more about this in her book "The Awakened Brain.)

She lamented a society in which a child's confidence and identity comes from things like academic or sports achievement as opposed to the inherent self worth that comes from knowing you matter to G-d.  And she powerfully illustrated how one of the strongest battles against the mental health crisis amongst youth today is spiritualty that blossoms when one cultivates a personal relationship with G-d.

----

My mind immediately thought of this verse in the Parsha:

Man cannot live by bread alone but by all that proceeds from the mouth of G-d. (Eikev 8:3)

There are fascinating mystical interpretations of this verse, but the simple meaning might just be the most powerful:

The human spirit is such that we crave more than bread. Human beings will never satisfied with money or materialism alone.

And since man cannot live on bread alone, we will either fill that extra space with real meaning - a relationship with our Creator that includes Mitzvot to others, or we will sadly look for unhealthy substitutes to that meaning…

---

Has there ever been a time in history where this has been so obvious? 

We live in an era of complete opposites. For the most part, the standard of living is BH better than at any point in history. We have luxuries that our grandparents could not have even dreamed about. 

And yet, it is very painful to watch so many struggling today with confusion, sadness, and anxiety.

To be clear, mental health is a complex and sensitive issue. There are many, different factors in this terrible crisis facing our country today.

But we Jews should know that:

  • Thousands of years of Torah teachings provide incredible wisdom towards happier living.  
  • Being part of a community, attending a Shul regularly, etc is not only good for your soul, but also for your mind and body!
  • One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is a solid traditional Jewish education founded upon Torah faith and a personal relationship with Hashem.

It’s never too late to start exercising this part of our brain.  And what better time to plan for the year ahead than now as we begin the 40 days countdown to Rosh Hashana…

Aaron's Yahrzeit

Did you know there  is only one Yahrzeit date specifically mentioned in the Torah?  We know the dates of many others from oral tradition, but there's only one Yahrzeit date recorded in the Chumash. 

That Yahrzeit is today (July 29, 2022)! Today, on the 1st of Av, we remember Aharon, the brother of Moshe.

Incredibly,  it is also in this week's Parsha, Masei, that records the date of this  Yahrzeit! 

On the Yarzeit of a loved one, we take time to learn from their life and perpetuate their ways. With that in mind, today is the perfect day for the Aharon Challenge 

When our Sages tell us to be like Aharon, they use the words OHEV SHALOM and RODEF SHALOM, love peace and pursue peace. 

Most people will say they love peace. (I mean, who actually enjoys living with ugly arguments?)  But yet, we also know all too well expressions like:

"Well, if you knew what X said to me, you'd understand why I no longer speak to her." 

"I should call him? He should be the one reaching out to me first to apologize..." 

In using the word "pursue," our Sages are highlighting something deep.

If you truly love something, you’ll do everything you can to pursue it, not wait for the other person to come to you. That means loving shalom more than you love being right, and more than you want the other person to be wrong. You'll be willing to give up a lot for that Shalom -- whether that be a few dollars or your pride... 

It’s not a game in which there’s only one winner.  Your letting go  (in Hebrew, what is called being mevater) is the ultimate win in the game of life.

---

Aharon's Yarzeit is a very timely for this season.

The 1st of Av, also begins the 9 days of mourning leading up to Tisha B'av, the saddest day on the Jewish Calendar.

Our Sages explain that the destruction of Jerusalem was due to "unwarranted hatred." There was a lack of concern, love, and respect for each other. The Jewish people, even during the siege of Jerusalem, remained fractionalized and divided. One would have thought that this crisis would have brought them together. But they lacked this greatness taught by Aharon, and succumbed to senseless fighting, often over petty issues.

And so, today, the first of Av, is the perfect time for the "Aharon Challenge," reversing this mistake by going to the other extreme. 

It's when we are inspired to go above and beyond in the department of love and unity to one another even when there is no logical reason to do so.

Is there someone with whom you previously had an argument? Reach out with warmth to them today, even if you feel it should be the other person who should be apologizing.

Is there a someone with whom a cold silence has developed over time? Call them today with a warm Shabbat Shalom.

Is there someone in the Jewish community with very, very different views from yourself?  Find a way to connect and spend meaningful time together in the coming week.

And if you're asked what prompted the call...you can simply say Aharon!

 

Looking for older posts? See the sidebar for the Archive.