I came across a fascinating article this week focusing on a form of exercise that plays an especially critical role in our health.
It isn't what people expect.
Social Fitness
While scientists had linked positive relationships and wellbeing for decades, it was only recently when they started comparing social connections to physical fitness. Just like you can't remain physically fit without exercising, social fitness--
The term "emotional pushups" is now being used to refer to those times you stretch yourself to connect to another beyond your comfort zone. Studies also highlight the importance of being part of a community or group that meets regularly. (Attending shul is good for your health!)
Conversely, this article writes "If you regularly feel isolated and lonely, it can be as dangerous as smoking half a pack of cigarettes a day..."
That can help give us some perspective to plague #9 in this week's Parsha.
At first glance, darkness doesn't seem
True, the 9th plague becomes more terrifying when we read that the darkness became palpable, literally keeping them glued to their places. But does that alone justify its spot as second to the last?
A simple answer comes when we look closely at the words the Parsha uses to describe this 9th plague:
A man did not see their fellow...for three days.
The plague of darkness resulted in every person suffering alone. It was the end of any sense of society. They were no longer "in it together."
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Delving a bit deeper:
Every one of us, at some time in life, grapples with serious challanges. The many struggles of life include stress, depression, financial challenges, relationship issues, addiction, mental illness, health issues...and so much more.
But how do we know when it has gotten to the point that "we are living in darkness"?
When a room is dark, everything is still there, only you can’t see it. Emotionally, being in a dark place means that you aren’t able to see the blessings and opportunities that are around you. It can be the darkness of loneliness - when you don’t sense anyone in your life that cares - or depression - when you can’t see things in your life that seem meaningful.
Another effect of darkness is that, as the Parsha itself says, it doesn't allow us to see another.
When one's personal challenges are so overwhelming that one can't see or feel another's pain...that is darkness.
In his Holocaust memoir, If This is a Man, Primo Levi describes the days after the camps were liberated from the Nazis. He writes that at one point, some of the inmates offered to share their bread with one another, and to him that signaled that they were free men. As prisoners each of them were concerned only for their own survival. But as free men they could see each other’s pain and share their resources. (This is why the first thing we do at the Seder is "invite those who are hungry to come and join us" - true symbol of light and freedom.)
Moments of darkness can happen to all of us. What is important is the self-awareness (and not denial!) that one is surrounded by darkness and trying to do all we can to make our way to light. It is often closer than we think!
L'chaim to being an active part of the community!
Like exercise, it takes effort, but it's well worth the light it brings - - physically, emotionally, and spiritually.