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The JOY of Yom Kippur

Sunday, 2 October, 2022 - 2:19 pm

I meet too many people who get anxious about, or even dread, Yom Kippur. 

I get it. Hours in Synagogue. Fasting. And a machzor full or some intense prayers.  

Which makes it easy for some to miss the JOY of the day.

Joy? On Yom Kippur? Yes, yes, and yes.

 Yom Kippur is to be viewed as a gift: An incredible opportunity G-d has given us to remove any “shmutz” that may have accumulated throughout the year and return to our pristine natural self. He only asks for us to be sincere in our regret, observe the day as articulated in Torah, and pledge to be better in the future.

What a blessing the day is…

It is therefore important for us to have that conviction that G-d has truly forgiven us and we are a new person that day after Yom Kippur.

Of course, that is easier said than done. Sometimes, shortly after this holy day, we may feel that although we are ready to change, we are still confronted by those negative urges and temptations. I want to share with you a beautiful response to this issue as taught by the Maggid of Mezritch in the form of the following metaphor:

There was a Jew named Moshe that ran a tavern in a small town in Russia. He made a decent living but soon got sick of the atmosphere of a tavern, having to see the things that came out of the mouth of the locals after they had too much to drink.

Eventually, he decided to change his tavern into a grocery store. The problem? Those used to spending the nights at Moshe's place would still show up, banging on the door, asking for a drink. He would have to yell back at them and say, “You got the wrong place – this is not a bar, this is a grocery!" It took some time, but eventually they moved elsewhere…

The Maggid concluded: This is what you have to do: Tell those thoughts that pop in our mind after Yom Kippur. “I am no longer the man I once was. You got the wrong address.” It just takes some time, but eventually they get the point and move away…

The same is true in our relationships to others.  It is a gift to have a set day on the calendar with this energy of forgiveness. 

Sure, we can apologize year-round but I find it so much easier to make that phone call before Yom Kippur.  You even have a script ready to say!  "Hi...how are you? I know we haven't spoken much recently... but I've been doing some thinking...and with Yom Kippur coming around the corner, I really wanted to connect with you and...."

 What a gift that is to let go of resentment and hurt!

A psychology professor once spoke to an auditorium filled with students about how to let go of guilt. As she spoke, she walked around on stage with a glass of water raised in the air. As she gestured at the glass, everyone expected that she’d ask the typical “glass half empty or glass half-full” question. Instead, she asked them, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”

Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple of pounds.

“From my perspective,” she replied, “the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter. It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for half an hour, its weight will make my arm ache a little. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me. The same is true of holding on to guilt.”

I sometimes stop and think how difficult life would be if there was no Yom Kippur! 

On a personal note:

As a Rabbi and Community Leader, it happens that I let people down or offend others. Sometimes people have expectations of me that I am not able to accomplish (at times, due to circumstances beyond my control)  and they are upset at me for this. In these situations there is no way for me to ask you for forgiveness because I don’t know that I have offended you. I am giving you full permission to reach out to me over the next few days, to call me or text me or email me and tell me what I have done and give me the opportunity to ask you for forgiveness.

For those who are not able to ask me for forgiveness, I hope you will forgive me in your heart.

May all be forgiven without grudges and may G-d almighty forgive us and seal us in the book of life for a year of Health, Happiness, Prosperity, and Redemption Now!!

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