Dear Friend, 

For whatever reason, people can find it easier to commiserate with others when they suffer loss, than to rejoice with them in their good fortune. (Might that explain the absence of this word in the English lexicon?)  Sadly, rather than feel happy for others, when faced with their successes it is possible to feel envious and even resentful.

Farginning is a unique talent – yes, a talent or a gift – which demonstrates a profound and abundant spirit of goodness.   And as we observe the annual period of mourning on the Jewish Calendar leading to the destruction of the Temple - a tragedy that in part was caused by infighting and hatred amongst the Jewish people - it is a good time to practice the art of being a Farginner. 

Examples might include feeling genuinely happy when hearing about the growth of the other synagogue in town or rejoicing in a friends engagement when you yourself are still looking for your basheret.

It takes internalizing:

1) A true love for another. Especially with our fellow Jews, recognizing that even those different from us are our mishpacha!

2) Being happy at another’s success is a vessel for blessings in your own life.

3) Success in not a zero-sum game.

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Can you think of the first “Farginner” mentioned in the Torah? 

Not by coincidence, it is someone who personified “love for another” and whose Yarzeit we observe this week on the first day of Av – The Great Aaron.

Just imagine the scene.  Aaron was about to be sidelined by his brother. Not only was he the older brother, but the Midrash teaches he was the main Jewish prophet before Moshe entered the scene. 

It shouldn’t be surprising therefore that Moshe expressed reluctance in accepting the position. It took G d telling him: "Behold, Aaron is going out to greet you and he will see you and he will rejoice in his heart…"

Indeed, that is exactly what transpired. "Aaron went [to the wilderness] and encountered Moses at the mountain of G d, and he kissed him."

The Torah doesn't usually record family affections and sentiments. But this was no average show of love. This was the kiss of a farginner.

This exquisite act does not go unnoticed by the Midrash, which comments: "It was due to Aaron's heartfelt rejoicing that he merited to wear the sacred choshen, the high priest's breastplate, which is placed over the heart."

May we all strive to emulate this incredible love of Aharon for another .

A special thanks to my friend Rabbi Mendel Kalmenson who first shared this idea with me.

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There is no Kabbalat Shabbat tonight. We resume regularly in two weeks.

Tomorrow morning, Davening at  4104 Grace Park Drive begins at 9:30 am with Torah Reading and discussion at 10:30 am, and a kiddush at around 12:30 pm. The Kiddush is sponsored by Hymie Genderson on the occasion of completing the study of an entire tractate of Talmud!  It is a tradition to celebrate this occasion in the community (called a Siyum), completing the last few lines of the tractate in public.

Good Shabbos,

Rabbi Yisroel and Rebbetzin Chana